i’m sure you’re all familiar with that feeling of stress just building up in your body – mine seems to gather in my chest, almost like my heart is going to explode when i’m feeling really overwhelmed.
it seems like it’s hard for anyone to avoid stress at some point in their lives, and i don’t want to be a complainer, but dissertation writing is bringing about a whole new level of stress for me – one combined with self doubt and uncertainty.
how am i going to finish all of this?
what if it’s not good enough?
i’m not a good writer.
i’m fat. <—not really related to dissertation writing, but that one always seems to jump in the mix when the negative thoughts start coming out.
am i going to be able to find a job at the end of all of this?
have i just wasted the last four years of my life?
yep. that last one has been making a lot of appearances in the back of my mind lately.
it’s funny too. i used to be the most confident person ever – so sure of my ability to achieve anything. i was unstoppable!
now, i don’t even recognize myself. i’m not sure if this happens naturally as a part of grad school, or if something else has changed, but i think i need to work on that…
anyway. i decided that instead of diving head first into work this morning, i’d just take a minute to organize myself. i know i do so much better when i’ve got a clear plan of what i want to accomplish each day instead of having my lengthy to-do lists swirling around in my head and feeling like i’ll never get to it all. i haven’t been doing a good job of created to-do lists to keep myself organized lately.
so, i grabbed my giant mug of a new-to-me coffee (from trader joe’s – picked up yesterday!)
and wrote out my plan for this week.
it might not look like a very packed schedule, but many of those items comes with it’s own little sub-list of at least 25 references to check for each section of my dissertation or a whole 2 modules of iin lectures to catch up on…
i even figured out what i was going to prepare each evening for dinner. i think it’s a nice mix of more intensive (for this week) 30-minute meals and 10-minute throw together options.
we’ve also got a ton of meat in our freezer that really should be eaten, so i’m focusing on using a lot of it this week. brad will be in heaven. 
my training plan is already posted on the fridge, so i tried not to be redundant by copying it into my planner, although i was tempted to in my “organize everything in my life” state.
now i’m not going to pretend that i suddenly feel like i can conquer the world or anything after my organization session this morning, but i feel a little better.
i’ll take it.
………………….
now i’m off to actually get started on that to-do list. i’ve got a mid-day gym visit planned as well as a 2-for-1 frappuccino date with brad later today. (yay for fun things to look forward to!).
don’t forget to enter my chike nutrition high protein coffee drink giveaway and my easy canvas prints custom photo print giveaway!
i’m picking winners for both giveaways tomorrow evening.
……………..
do you have any extra days off of work this week for the 4th?
i’ll probably be doing at least a little work on the 4th, so no days off for me.
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